Kiran's Musings: Films that didn't quite make it

Okay - some top 5 lists are coming, but here is a discussion about some of the films that didn't make the list.

Team America: World Police: Even on paper this looked funny, a supermarionation-esque puppet show, deliberately showing up all the limitations of the format. The plot - a satire of America's war on terror and the actions of bandwagon-jumping celebrities. As ever Matt Stone and Trey Parker don't pull any punches as they set about their targets. The first time I saw this film I laughed so hard that it hurt. The sheer unPC-ness of some of the scenes: ironic stereotyping of Arabs, decidedly odd puppet-sex, excessive projectile vomiting and unnecessary uber-violence. Unfortunately, the film falls down in a couple of areas. Firstly, the film attacks so many groups (the US government, celebrities who want to be seen to be helping, over-the-top films) that all the messages tend to blur and get lost - are we supposed to be rooting for the team or not? Secondly, the film gets less funny on repeated viewings. Matt & Trey's previous South Park film also suffered from this as the novelty of the swearing wore off. Team America does feature some very funny moments: the 3 kinds of people speech, Gary's disguise and the script ("I'll rip your balls off and shove them up your ass so the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls"). The longest lasting memory is the soundtrack. From attacks on the film Pearl harbor through 80s montage scenes to the fantastic America: Fuck Yeah. As is the trend these days, an unrated DVD was released that featured the uncut sex-scene that is even more extreme In order to secure an R rating from the MPAA, the scene had to be resubmitted 9 times. In the words of the directors, the uncut scene features urination, defecation and ejaculation" - derka!
Star Wars: Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith: Oh dear George, what have you done. One of the reasons for the success of the original trilogy was that although George Lucas wrote the screenplays, he brought in Irvin Kershner and Richard Maquand to direct Empire and Jedi. It's a little known fact the Lucas himself directed nothing between 1977's Star Wars and 1999's Episode 1. It shows a lot. Lucas tries to cram in far too much and yet somehow the story is lacking. Everyone knows what happens, there is no surprise that Palpatine turns out to be the Sith lord Sidious. The major flaws are in Anakin's turn to the Dark Side. After slaying Windu, he breaks down, questioning what he has done given that he knows how evil Palpatine is. Yet all it takes is for Palpatine to order that he kills all the children at the Jedi temple and he is convinced... Follow this up with Yoda's duel with Sidious - after a result of a no-scre draw, Yoda declares he must go into exile - effectively subjecting the galaxy to 20 years of tyrannical rule. To finish off, who could forget renowned shit-kicker Darth Vader's cry of noooooooooo? For a much better Star Wars experience, try out the Clone Wars animation series - despite the apparently shortness of the episodes, they are a fantastic insight to the development of the characters. Most unforgivable though is the character of General Grevous - in Clone Wars he is introduced as a fear-inspiring Jedi-trained robot who wields upto 4 lightsabres and has defeated many Jedi in combat. In Sith, he appears as a wheezing coward who is dispatched with relative ease by Obi-Wan. Other characters such as Bail Organa are underused to the point where you have to question their inclusion. It seems George has made a fan-boy movie instead surrounded by yes-men such as Rick McCallum who really should have told him how vacuous the prequel trilogy has been.
Fantastic 4: After the success of comic-to-film adaptations of Spiderman, X-Men and Sin City came Fantastic 4. The problem with this film was the plot. Many flaws (including one situation designed simply to get Jessica Alba into a state of undress), forgettable villain, tired "it's what inside that counts", C-list cast and an "is that it?" ending really didn't do it for me or many of my friends that saw it. Dispite the ending being set up for a sequal, hopefully one will never see the light of day. This joins the likes of Elektra, Hell Boy and Captain America an exmple of how not to make a comic book movie.