Top 5 Non-2005 Films of the Year

This is a list of films that I saw for the first times this year even though they were made and released before 2004.

Napoleon Dynamite

Released at the Sundance Festival 2004 and edited on the producers' Mac, this film is marmite: people either love it or loathe it. Thankfully, the majority of people I've shown it to got it and loved it. Essentially a series of short clips, strung together into a feature length film, it acts as a window into the life of geeky outcast Napoleon. At high school a backwards Iowa town, still living in the 80s, Napoleon hates school. Living at home with his grandmother and 32-year old brother, Kip (who spends his days "chatting to babes online"), his life starts to change with a visit from local weirdo Deb, the arrival of Pedro - a new student from Mexico. When Napoleon's grandmother is injured in a freak dune-buggy accident, their '82-obsessed Uncle Rico arrives to "look after" the boys. Although it gets off to a slow start and some of the early gags don't quite hit home, once the film gets going some of the set-ups such as taking Pedro's bike off a "sweet jump", Napoleon's art "skills", Kip and Rico's money-making demonstrations, "Pedro's protection" and the time machine. Even though Napoleon starts off the film being pretty obnoxious, by the end, we are really rooting for him and as the picture fades to the strains of When in Rome's The Promise, we feel satisfied that Napoleon has made some genuine progress and jokes set up early on in the film such as Rex and his Rex-Kwan-Do system pay off. Despite some suggesting that the film actively promotes Mormon values, this is a very sweet film - things such as Pedro's naivete that cause him to shave his hair and Napoleon's desire to help out Pedro in the presidential race no matter what. It's especially nice as it's a film that cost only $40,000 to make (with the main star Jon Heder earning only $1000) and broke though by word of mouth alone. After the initial success, an epilogue was filmed later and the 10 minutes sequence cost half as much again as the rest of the film. The film grossed $40m in the US alone.

Garden State

Another Sundance premiered film. This one was written and directed by Scrubs star Zach Braff. I've already mentioned the fantastic soundtrack and it fits the film so well. The film deals with Andrew "Large" Largeman - guy in his mid 20s whose life is completely numb due to the large number of drugs prescribed to him by his father. He lives alone in LA in a completely sterile world. Although he had success in films earlier in life he now waits at a Vietnamese restaurant. When is father calls to tell him his mother has died, he decides to stop taking his medication. As his mother's funeral winds down, so does his lack of feeling. He reintegrates himself with his childhood friends who have had variety of interesting lives, although they still reside in their small childhood town.
He soon meets Sam (Natalie Portman), a girl who is everything he isn't. The 2 of them seek acceptance in each other. Their relationship slowly builds throughout the film until they finally get together over a Simon and Garfunkel track that blends into the gentle beauty of Iron and Wine's cover of Such Great Hights in a manner similar to Donnie and Gretchen in 2001's Donnie Darko. The film acts as a metaphor; as Large comes back to full consciousness you can draw parallels with slowly realising that you have no idea how you got to where you are in life, but that it's never to late to "explore the infinite abyss". At one point Large asks Sam, "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone." - it strikes a chord with me. Although I technically still live at "home" with my parents, it doesn't feel like home anymore - that idea is gone. He continues, "it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist...You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something." Despite all this the films manages some very comedic moments - from Large be written on as he is passed out to his fear of dogs. Despite being a rookie director, Braff draws out fantastic performances from his cast to create a moving, genuine and beautiful film. The end has drawn criticism, but really the film couldn't have been ended any other way after Large's experiences. The only problem is the lack of depth given to Gideon, Large's estranged father; more scenes were filmed, but only feature as deleted scenes on the DVD. Do yourself a favour and watch this film.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

The first of 2 Miyazaki films in this list. Originally conceived in the late 70s, Miyazaki failed to get funding for his project as the film wasn't based on manga. Miyazaki went away and created a manga series for Nausicaa which took off. The next time he went to get funding the project was green lit and in 1984 Nausicaa was released to expectant Japanese fans. In the aftermath of the film's release Miyazaki set up the now-renowned Studio Ghibli with his friend and mentor Isao Takahata. Nausicaa only saw the light of day in the West in a butchered version called Warriors of the Wind. Finally in 2005, the DVD of the original untampered-with film was released in the West with a newly recorded English dub featuring the likes of Patrick Stewart, Uma Thurman and Alison Lohman. In the distant future, civilisation was destroyed by the seven warriors during the "seven days of fire". The world is left covered by a toxic jungle guarded by giant insects with small groups of humans surviving wherever they can. One such haven is the Valley of the Wind which is protected from the toxic spores that spread the jungle by the winds that flow through the valley. As with all Miyazaki's film there is a strong theme of aviation throughout the film as we follow the adventures of Princess Nausicaa as she tries to help her people when 2 rival warring kingdoms arrive at the Valley, both intent on reviving one of the soldiers to destroy the jungle and insects and reclaim the Earth for mankind.
Using a retrofuture that would resurface in 1986's Laputa: Castle in the Sky (despite the medieval landscapes, giant flying machines exist), Miyazaki crafts a fantastic tale. He refuses to create stereotypical bad guys - in the minds of the invaders are thoughts of destroying the jungles to allow mankind to come back from the brink of destruction, the story twists as foes become friends and Miyazaki's breathtaking animation infuses a superb sense of freedom and space for the airborne sequences and sense of awe as the rebirth of the warrior draws close. The theme of man versus nature would be revisited in 1997 with the release of Mononoke Hime. A very 80s soundtrack is provided courtesy of long-time Miyazaki collaborator Joe Hisaishi. If you want to see how a film can draw you in until you forget it is animated, then watch this film.

Howl's Moving Castle

Another Miyazaki release. This first saw the light in 2004 in Japan and finally reached these shores in September. Although this was easily the best animation of the year, it was the first Miyazaki film that felt like Miyazaki-by-numbers. The thing I've loved about Studio Ghibli's output is how varied it is - we've had films about the environment (Nausicaa/Mononoke Hime), an Indiana Jones style fantastic adventure (Laputa), coming of age tales (Kiki's Delivery Sevice, Whisper of the Heart and Spirited Away), heartbreaking adaptions (Grave of the Fireflies), the freedom and romanticism of flight (Porco Rosso), illustrations of Japanese life (My Neighbours the Yamadas), films that simply capture the imagination, magic and innocence of childhood (My Neighbour Totoro) and, er, a film about shape-shifting tanooki and their testicles (Pom Poko). Howl's Moving Castle ticks all the Miyazaki boxes; a shy, unassuming heroine, a roguish protagonist and his sidekick who share a secret history, baddies who turn out to be not that bad and a fantastic environment with a bit a flying thrown in for good measure. Perhaps it's because it's adapted from a book, perhaps it's because it followed the similarly themed Spirited Away or maybe simply because I've only seen the English dub (although as with all the new Ghibli English dubs, this was overseen by Pixar).
No doubt the Japanese version of Calcifer would have been more restrained than Billy Crystal (who was a lot better than I expected) the same way that Phil Hartman's Jiji in Kiki's Delivery Service significantly alters the outcome of that film. The resolution to the war is almost laughable in how it comes about (it involves the scarecrow). But there is something so moving and wonderful about all Miyazaki's work that these problems are easily overlooked. The scene where Sophie must climb a large staircase with the Witch of the Waste is fantastic. The undoubted star of the show though is the castle itself - again part of a Victorian retrofuture - and Calcifer, the flame spirit that powers the castle. The film is so enjoyable that it enchanted me and my housemates. To say it is a below-par Ghibli film, it still beats anything put out by Disney and Dreamworks in many years. In fact, the only animation studio that can match Ghibli is John Lassiter's Pixar. If you haven't already, see this film - unless you are completely dead inside you will be charmed and won over with ease.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 1st GiG

This is a bit of a cheat because this is actually a boxset of a TV series, but it is so fantastic that it deserved a place on the list. Utilising the same set-up as the film Ghost in the Shell, but in an alternative timeline, the show follows Public Security Section 9 - a secret division of the government. In a future where man has become integrated with technology, body and brain augmentations are common and the majority of Section 9 are full cyborgs - their bodies replaced with heavy duty "shells". The only remaining human aspect of them is their ghost - essentially their human spirit. In this world people can communicate telepathically over the net, brains can be hacked and cyberterorism is the source of most of section 9's problems.
All the members from the film, Kusanagi, Batou, Ishikawa and the relatively human Togusa and section chief Aramaki return in addition to some new characters who are developed over the series including a sniper with a cybernetically enhanced eye that can be hooked up to GPS to gain superhuman accuracy. The stars of the show (and their own mini-postcredit show) are the Tachicomas - small AI driven tanks. At the start of the series they are child-like; eager to learn about the world they "live" in, but at the same time fiercely loyal and quick to dish out lethal force if so ordered. The Stand Alone Complex title refers to the nature of the series. Like such western shows as The X-Files and Buffy, the series contains sand alone episodes and complex episodes which form the major series arc. At the same time the characters (especially the Tachicomas) develop over the entire season arc. The stand alone episodes range from action oriented missions such as a hostage rescue, the storming of a terrorist hideout and chasing of a runaway tank, to more character based episodes and even entire episodes given over to the tachicomas becoming self-aware. The complex episodes link together in to build up in a similar way to Fox's 24. Told from the point of view of Togusa (who apart from some minor brain augmentations to allow him to contact the team is entirely human). It starts out with the team uncovering a surveillance conspiracy in the police force and soon becomes linked to the Laughingman incident - a kidnapping by a skilled hacker of the president of a large biotech firm some years earlier. The hacker hacked into bystanders eye's to conceal his identity with a logo and the phrase "I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes" from Salinger's Catcher in the Rye. The plot escalates to unravel a conspiracy that certain people will go to any lengths to cover up the truth behind the incident. The intrigue is frequently broken by exciting action sequences featuring the extensive section 9 hardware.
Initially it may not seem that accessible - the first episode throws viewers in at the deep end and explains things later on. The complex episodes too, are exactly that, yet never suffer from the outrageous twists of 24. Whilst the film and it's 2004 follow-up - Innocence - are based around what it means to be humans and the dangers of merging with technology, the series puts these topics on the back burner only allowing them to surface at key moments during the series. The music is sublime and perfectly complements the lush visuals. The opening credits are fully CG animated, but rest assured that the episodes themselves are done with traditional animation. As mentioned, the episodes are followed by a short called Tachicoma Days where the lovable Tachicomas perform an on going skit based on the contents of the episode.
The 26 episodes fly by. There is a gap in the complex story in the middle but it returns at the end building up to a fantastic conclusion, although since the episodes are only 25 minutes, the final episode is fairly subdued with most of the action having occurred in the previous 2 episodes. A second series: 2nd GiG has been aired in Japan and a 3rd series is eagerly awaited. The complete boxset of the 1st GiG is available for only £30 and is definitely worth a look.

Tomorrow I'll put up the top 5 films of 2005. If you are interested by the films of Studio Ghibli, then please check out Nausicaa.net for much more information and news.

Films that didn't quite make it

Okay - some top 5 lists are coming, but here is a discussion about some of the films that didn't make the list.

Team America: World Police

Even on paper this looked funny, a supermarionation-esque puppet show, deliberately showing up all the limitations of the format. The plot - a satire of America's war on terror and the actions of bandwagon-jumping celebrities. As ever Matt Stone and Trey Parker don't pull any punches as they set about their targets. The first time I saw this film I laughed so hard that it hurt. The sheer unPC-ness of some of the scenes: ironic stereotyping of Arabs, decidedly odd puppet-sex, excessive projectile vomiting and unnecessary uber-violence. Unfortunately, the film falls down in a couple of areas. Firstly, the film attacks so many groups (the US government, celebrities who want to be seen to be helping, over-the-top films) that all the messages tend to blur and get lost - are we supposed to be rooting for the team or not? Secondly, the film gets less funny on repeated viewings. Matt & Trey's previous South Park film also suffered from this as the novelty of the swearing wore off. Team America does feature some very funny moments: the 3 kinds of people speech, Gary's disguise and the script ("I'll rip your balls off and shove them up your ass so the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls"). The longest lasting memory is the soundtrack. From attacks on the film Pearl harbor through 80s montage scenes to the fantastic America: Fuck Yeah. As is the trend these days, an unrated DVD was released that featured the uncut sex-scene that is even more extreme In order to secure an R rating from the MPAA, the scene had to be resubmitted 9 times. In the words of the directors, the uncut scene features urination, defecation and ejaculation" - derka!

Star Wars: Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith

Oh dear George, what have you done. One of the reasons for the success of the original trilogy was that although George Lucas wrote the screenplays, he brought in Irvin Kershner and Richard Maquand to direct Empire and Jedi. It's a little known fact the Lucas himself directed nothing between 1977's Star Wars and 1999's Episode 1. It shows a lot. Lucas tries to cram in far too much and yet somehow the story is lacking. Everyone knows what happens, there is no surprise that Palpatine turns out to be the Sith lord Sidious. The major flaws are in Anakin's turn to the Dark Side. After slaying Windu, he breaks down, questioning what he has done given that he knows how evil Palpatine is. Yet all it takes is for Palpatine to order that he kills all the children at the Jedi temple and he is convinced... Follow this up with Yoda's duel with Sidious - after a result of a no-scre draw, Yoda declares he must go into exile - effectively subjecting the galaxy to 20 years of tyrannical rule. To finish off, who could forget renowned shit-kicker Darth Vader's cry of noooooooooo? For a much better Star Wars experience, try out the Clone Wars animation series - despite the apparently shortness of the episodes, they are a fantastic insight to the development of the characters. Most unforgivable though is the character of General Grevous - in Clone Wars he is introduced as a fear-inspiring Jedi-trained robot who wields upto 4 lightsabres and has defeated many Jedi in combat. In Sith, he appears as a wheezing coward who is dispatched with relative ease by Obi-Wan. Other characters such as Bail Organa are underused to the point where you have to question their inclusion. It seems George has made a fan-boy movie instead surrounded by yes-men such as Rick McCallum who really should have told him how vacuous the prequel trilogy has been.

Fantastic 4

After the success of comic-to-film adaptations of Spiderman, X-Men and Sin City came Fantastic 4. The problem with this film was the plot. Many flaws (including one situation designed simply to get Jessica Alba into a state of undress), forgettable villain, tired "it's what inside that counts", C-list cast and an "is that it?" ending really didn't do it for me or many of my friends that saw it. Dispite the ending being set up for a sequal, hopefully one will never see the light of day. This joins the likes of Elektra, Hell Boy and Captain America an exmple of how not to make a comic book movie.

Tomorrow , I'll try to get u a list of the top 5 films that I've seen for the first times this year that weren't actually released in 2005.

Copy Protection

The last 18 months have seen 2 of the largest groups in America, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) take a remarkably naive stance on the pirating of their copyrighted materials. It's fairly well known, that dodgy knockoff CDs and DVDs arrive in this country from the far East where they have been pressed in professional factories and are sold at markets all over the country, both here and the US. The money made from these sales will innevitably find its way back to international crime gangs and deprives the industries of millions of US$ every year.

However, for some unknown reason, the industry seems remarkably content attacking not these gangs of profit-making criminals, but college students, little old ladies and other everyday people: essentially their on customers. How can some students downloading a few films possibly dent the profits of these massive companies? Yes, something needs to be one about piracy, but the industry is on the verge of a very pulic backlash with these attacks on very "soft" and easy targets. While the eastern presses continue churning out hundreds of thousand of counterfeit discs unchallenged, sharing as little as a few songs online could be enough to land you a court appearence and a hefty fine.

The RIAA in particular been particularly agressive in this respect. Recording studios have spent millions developing CD copy-protection systems that only succeed in doing one thing - annoying people who actually buy the products. The idea beind the copy protection is that when the CD is inserted into CD-Rom drive, either software is launched that "inhibits" the abilities of the computer, or the CD contains corrupt Table of Contents (TOC) will confuse the drive. In some cases, the CD tracks aren't playable, but instead low quality WMA files are all that is available.

The problem is so severe that Philips took out a worldwide injunction to stop the record industry calling these products CDs. To be classed as a CD, a disc must bear the Compact Disc logo (your CD player manual will state somewhere to only play discs bearing this symbol). Discs with copy protection are now not allowed to carry this logo as they violate the CD standard. Some old (and not so old) players may simply refuse to play these discs. This is bad enough, but with all the millions thrown at these "solutions" they are remarkably ineffective. All too frequently the software is written for Windows, so all you have to do is stick the CD (sorry, disc) into a Mac or PC that doesn't run Windows and you can rip and copy to your heart's content. Even worse, some protection software can be disbled by simply disabling the Autorun feature of Windows (which can be temporarily done by holding down the shift key after inserting the disc). One company even tried to sue an individual that made this information available. Of course, all it takes is for a CD to be copied once and thats it. All that money and it can be overcome by pressing one key.

The MPAA made the same mistake. When DVDs were launched they were encrypted using a method called the Content Scrambing System (CSS) so only licenced players could play back the files. One software company, Xing, produced DVD playing software that didn't hide the keys well enough. A Norwegen, the so-called DVD Jon, wanted to play his DVDs on a PC that didn't run Windows, but noone would release such program so he hacked the Xing player and created a utility called DeCSS. Rather than admit that their encryption was inadequate, the MPAA tried to sue DVD Jon, but it was too late - almost overnight, DVD rippers became available and the format was wide open. DVD Jon then rubbed salt into their wounds when he was found not guilty with the judge ruling that he broken no laws by breaking the encryption to watch a DVD that had purchased.

The next generation of DVD is about to be unleshed upon us; using a shorter wavelength laser, more information can be stored on the familiar 12cm discs which will allow for a much sharper picture and higher quality soundtracks. Unfotunately, 2 formats are vying for recogntion. The winner of this contest will be decided by who can get the most studios to sign up to their system. This of couse has meant that both formats are bending over backwards to accommodate the MPAAs requests. Possibly the most worrying aspect is that it looks fairly likely that the players will require an internet connection and upon inserting a disc, a serial code will be checked against the player code on a central server. If a player is attempting to play a non-licenced disc, the player won't receive permission to play the disc and the the most extreme senario, actually be locked from playing any further discs. While none of this is certain, it can be conceived that if your film's code or even worse, your player's code is cloned then, through no fault of your own, you may find yourself unable to watch your own films...

Much like the RIAA, there are a couple of copy potection schemes available, but likeise are a complete waste of money: one boasted that it was effective against 97% of DVD ripping software: shame it only takes one rip to make that meaningless...

Unfortunately the MPAA/RIAA have some powerful lobbyists in the US and managed to get the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) passed which severely cuts down your rights on what you can do with films and music you've just bought.

Most annoyingly, it seems that yet another organisation is jumping on the bandwagon. The Music Publishers Association (MPA) is now jumping up and down about "unlicenced reproduction of lyrics and guitar tablature" on the internet. Their president went on the record recently as saying that people who publish song lyrics on the net should be thrown in jail because it "deprives the artists of income". I'm sorry, but what? What income? What means are there to buy just the lyrics of songs? As for tabs, the "official" tablature books are in most cases hopelessly wrong and/or incomplete and I'm sure most guitarists will agree with me. Tabs are also an interpretation of a song. There are only so many chord progressions so why aren't songs that sound similar leading to massve courtroom battles? Even more unbelievably music shops are being forced to pay a "performance" tax to cover the "public performance" of punters playing recognisable tunes as they try out instruments in the shop. It sounds like something from The Day Today, but sadly it's actually happening.

Thankfully though, there may be an end to all this madness. In October 2005 Mark Russinovich, a computer researcher, found that Sony had employed a new copy protection scheme on some of its music releases. This method employed what is known in hacking circles as root-kit; essentially a way of hiding code deep inside the operating system of your computer. Nothing on the pakaging or EULA mentioned this. More worryingly, there was no way to uninstall this software. Appearing first on a blog, the media soon caught wind of it and before Sony knew what was happening the whole thing had blown up in their face. Most people didn't understand what a root kit was, but they soon understood that it was very bad as the media explained that it was frequently used by virus writers to hide thir creations from antivirus firms. Sony denied there was a problem, clearly not understanding what they had done (they had licenced the software from UK company). Sure enough there were soon viruses that took advantage of this code. Since the code was invisible to most anti-virus programs, IT supervisors over the world had no way of knowing which of their machines were infected - especially hindered as Sony refused to release a list of discs containing the software. Under the new DCMA actually removing the software was technically illegal aswell. One by one, anti-virus firms labelled the Sony software as a risk, but worse was to come...

Sony had still not released a removal tool. Users also found that the software "phoned home" something that again, was not mentioned in the EULA. This lead Microsoft to brand the Sony software as spyware. Sony finally released a removal tool, but unfortunately this hadn't been checked and introduced a whole new security risk. As a final kick to the teeth of Sony, examining the software it was found that used cother people's software, including, ironically, software written by DVD Jon himself... Although the software was free, anyone who uses it is legally obliged to acknowledge the author, suddenly Sony found itself possibly guilty of copright violation with some people commenting that the RIAA itself set a precedent of seeking a few thousand $ per offence when it went after girls, so taking into account the millions of CDs sold, the copyright violation would bankrupt Sony many times over.
Finally the US government stepped in and several states are suing Sony over the incident. A worldwide boycot of Sony products was called over Christmas, which thanks to the power of the internet has possibly actually affected Sony's profits. In response, Sony have aborted the development of copy protection schemes. All we need now is a mssive public outcry over this, or else a lot of music fans are going to be fined for daring to publish the lyrics to their favorite songs on the net...

Whatever happens it's clear that the record companies cannot go on like this. Go into HMV or Virgin and try to find any back catalogue release - it'll be at least £15.99. dd on the possibility of not actually being able to play the CD even if you buy it and you can see why people download music. Even those that pay for it and use iTunes are facing a price rise from the standard 99c/track. Song for song, the industry makes much more profit on digital music since it doesn't have to produce CDs and inlays, so pressurising Apple to increase the pricing is pure greed. Afor the artists themselves - those who the RIAA claim to represent - are they seeing an increase in income? All it would take is for a few well established acts such as Radiohead, Coldplay and U2 to start releasing albums themselves without record labels and the the whle industry could changefor the better.

This has been my first proper rant and I'm sorry it was a bit geeky, but then I am a geek. I feel that I should warn people that if they industrgets it way - you won't own the music you buy, you'll merely be renting it. In the next few days, I'll put up some more positive stuff, such as lists of the best films and music of the year.

Happy Christmas

A very happy Christmas to everyone reading (if I'm lucky, 5 including myself)!

Photos online

Wow - it's been a busy update day (alternatively, a slow work day). I've finished setting up my MSN space and am hosting my complete range of photos there. Hopefully those of you on my MSN contact list will see them and any updates from MSN. It may also boost the readership of this to more than 4 (including myself). Have a look!

Bryce Group Christmas Dinner

Somehow, despite the fact that it was me organising it, my research group's Christmas dinner has been sorted for a long time. After abandoning the idea of Lumley Castle, we settled on Oldfields on Claypath. Menus were obtained, food selections made, bookings made and then rearranged. Finally yesterday arrived and we all (well, most of us) trudged down to the restaurant. Eventually the 2 that had blatantly forgotten turned up and all was well.

Starters arrived and my policy of bringing the list of what people ordered paid off straight away. My starter consisted of a salmon fillet cured with Pernod and dill to give a full flavor - the fact that it was cured instead of cooked gave it a unique texture. The other starter that looked good was the goats cheese on a pimento muffin pictured. The main course brought me a confit of beef - very tender and on a pile of crushed garlic potatoes. Other options included pork, salmon or a very unusual style turkey - and escalope encrusted with a cranberry coating.

Finally, the moment most of us had been waiting for, the arrival of the chocolate torte with strawberries and blueberries. The fork just glided through it and it was the perfect way to finish. All that was left was to finish the wine and give Martin and Hazel the present we had bought for them.

As the post docs and Martin went back to the lab, several of us took up residence at the Swan & 3 to enjoy and afternoon of drinking. We finally left at about 7.30. Overall, it was agreed that it had been better than the previous year (at the King's Lodge) where the food had been a bit bland (although the table of drunk women behind us provided some entertainment) and at least as good as the year before (at The Pumphouse). Sadly, it's almost certainly my last group dinner although, hopefully we'll organise some more socials next year. And this time, actually go on them.

Christmas Formal

Wow - my final Christmas formal. We managed to secure an SSC table and with the exec on high table, we were sat on the regular exec table.
My pleas for the bar to provide our wine were heeded resulting in 12 bottles between 8 people drinking - I think only 2 bottles were left at the end. Chrismas formal is the only formal that I look forward to for the food and it didn't disapoint. We had a lot of food and for once there was more than one pig in a blanket and stuffing ball each. As don't normally sit together at formal there was a lot of banter and it is nice to have the change.

The only disapointment: the usual box of Lindor chcolates we get was replaced this year by a small chocolate mint that had blatantly been aquired as surplus stock from somewhere else. James was sat with the rest of the exec and we got some good photos of him looking pretty grumpy. After the main course, he came down to join us on low table. Adam continued his quest to steal everyone's shift and was working the bar after formal hence the high wine:SSC ratio. We were also boted by Morven who despite, predicting wouldn't be able to make it even to the end of the formal was in attendance from the beginning.

Due to 2ps being banned, we had to make e most of what we had so anything became fair game - small tinsel trees, the gifts from crackers - just about anything. Thanks to the efforts of Matt Smith, our table was decorated far more than the others: mini trees and absolutely massive party poppers helped the night along.

It's pretty hard to believe that so much time has passed since we sat together for the first time in March at Handover formal and spent those days bonding (ie drinking) in Derbyshire last Easter. It doesn't seem like we've acomplished much, but we have - longer opening, new cocktail lists and menus, chip & pin (hassle that it is), higher wages, 35ml shots... It's really sad that we've only got one term left. Although I'm glad to be finishing this year, I'd really love to stay on the SSC or another year.




After the meal we headed to the bar. Alan came up to college and we had a great time chatting to various people in the bar before we headed down to Rixies with Brett - very quiet at first but soon filled up with Trevs people. Somehow we ended up queuing in the Dirty Shop for about an hour at 2.30 in the morning. The walk back was very frosty aswell.

Doves

It's been a busy few days - first up was the Doves concert at the Newcastle Academy. I'd never been before, but it's a very nice venue with good views from just about everywhere - even the bars. As usual, with the PA set up for the main band the support act, Polytechnic, sounded pretty bad and we were unable to hear anything they said. Their set lasted 45 minutes which was a bit long considering the muffled sound they were producing. Eventually Doves took to the stage 25 minutes later and proceded to play out several songs from Some Cities and a collection from The Last Broadcast. Starting with Snowden and Sky Starts Falling and even performing seemingly gig-unfriendly tracks such asWhere We're Calling From. After seeing Weezer live up to their reputation of not speaking or even moving, I was a bit apprehensive that Doves would be the same. They certainly aren't too talky, with Jimi conversing with the crowd only when absolutely neccessary (such as when Pounding had to be abandoned 30 seconds in due to Jez breaking a string), but they were certainly very lively. The light show was very good, mathing the style of music, creating silouettes of the band on stage. Rousing versions of Caught By The River and Last Broadcast went down a storm.

After 70 minutes, a rousing performance of The Cedar Room, the band retired off stage before a couple of things that I've never seen before. Firstly, a video showing them leave, be limo'd to a pub 2 doors down the road, drink and read the paper for a few minutes, before being limo'd the 12 feet back to the venue, handing their coats to some aides nd going through the stage door - sure enough ey reappeared and then swapped instruments with Jimi taking to the drums allowing Andy to take vocal and harmonica duties for an impressive version of Here it Comes from Lost Souls. This arrangement continued for a couple more songs before they finished with Some Cities and the song everyone had been waiting for - There Goes the Fear. The major disapointments were the lack of Satellites, Words and 2 that were always unlikely to appear: Firesuite and B-Side Valley.

As the lights went up it revealed a pretty wide demographic of fans present - from teenagers all the way up to middle aged couples. One of us even spotted their French lecturer there. Doves obviously appeal to a wide audience and their style of understated but rewarding music explains it. Overall we had a great time - for the people from home - I was almost trapped behind the tallest man in the world, but managed to move...

Sadly we didn't get any photos. And for some reason there was noone selling unofficial t-shirts outside afterwards - what's the world comming to?

Why you should always read the small print

With the Xbox 360 being in such demand at the moment, it was only natural that lots of people put their preorders to good use and decided to flog their sought-after consoles on eBay for a vast proft. Of course, there are always some that rely on the stupidity or impulses of others. Have a look at this eBay auction for what appears to be a Premium Xbox 360 pack. Check the price, read right to the end of the description. Now check the price again... Oh dear.

EDIT: eBay appear to have pulled the auction description, but there are some screen shots over at The Register.

Random Phone Pictures

I've finally got around to clearing my phone of all the pictures clogging it up. It's pretty amazing how much I use it - when phone cameras became popular I always scoffed that I'd never use one, especially as they had low resolutions, bad lenses and no flash/zooms. To be fair, some modern phones sort out most of these problems, but my Orange SPV C500 has only a bad VGA lens, no flash and the inability to take good pictures in anything other than ideal lighting. Yet, for some reason I find I'm using it a lot. Here are a few of the better pictures I've extracted:


First up are a couple of sunset shots - The first is from over the summer and was taken from the back of a car going up the A1 (at speed). The slow response time of the lens gives the forground a nice motion blurred effect. Of course - this was entirely an accident as the phone offers no camera adjustments except to tell it what the lighting conditions are.


The next one was taken more recently since the clocks went back (end of October) when sunset moved forward to around 4pm.

Moving on to some of the more odd things you see around Durham.
First up is a rugby club social that happened to br going on in St. Cuth's when we were in there in early November. Not only were they all dressed as girls, one of the drinking games involved drinking "general contributions" from a shoe whilst all the rest of the team chanted "Boot, boot, boot". Very random.


Second is a fresher rite-of-passage at Trevs' formals. Once the freshers are introduced to the 2p in the glass games, it will inevitably escalate until someone is 2p'd whilst holding the gravy...

The final 3 pictures (for now) are a picture of my friend, Lue at the Durham City Beer festival over the summer.
Again, due to the crapness of the shutter speed, all the people in the background apear blurred and fast moving (most people who've been to beer festivals will agree that noone moves particularly fast). Lue's left Durham to write up his thesis and I wish him well. A lot more of my friends than I first realiased left last year, Lue was one of the last to leave in mid September.

Moving on, we come to a picture of one of the post-docs from my lab, Mustafa, attempting to drill a hole in one of our work desks so we could feed some cables through. Despite the holesaw being broken (the drill bit turned but the hole saw didn't), he kept at it - which required him to not only clamber onto the desk but also swear a lot.

Finally we have a picture of me taken a couple of weeks ago sporting my SSC shirt shortly after a bar shift sitting in my small, but cosy room.


We have just entered the last week of term (it's gone so fast despite me thinking it would drag) and there are loads of things comming up: some friends and I are going to see Doves in Newcastle on Sunday, then it's Christmas formal (the best food formal of the year) on Monday and I'm sitting with the rest of the SSC which always provides many laughs. Tuesday will bring our lab group's Christmas lunch at Oldfields followed by the pub and then we are trying to organise an MCR meal out later in the week. Hopefully I'll be able to post a load of photos soon.

Monkey Ball - Freestyling

Those of you with any knowledge of gaming must have heard about the Monkey Ball series. Created by Sega and first appearing on the Gamecube (I never thought I see the day that Sega games appeared on a Nintendo console). The game plays like a modern version of Marble Madness, but given a 3rd person perspective and a dose of typical Japanese quirkiness you find yourself guiding a monkey inside a hamster-style ball through puzzle filled levels. I originally bought it over a year ago, but it sat gathering dust as My friend Matt and I frantically tried to finish Mario Kart: Double Dash. Once we'd got bored of that though, we turned our attention back to Monkey Ball.
Incredibly simple to learn - the entire main game is controlled with only 1 analogue stick to tilt the landscape to get the ball to move - but almost impossible to master with later stages becoming fiendishly difficult: sort of a modern day Tetris. One evening we found this web site which offers videos of so called Monkey Ball "world records". We downloaded the file and sure enough the video (it's about 90mb) contained every level being completed in a ridiculous time with an absolutely phenomenal amount of control on display. Instead of progressing through a level as the designers intended, these super players veer off coarse, hitting edges and causing their monkey to soar over most of the obstacles. Matt and I named these techniques freestyling. By this point, I had acquired Monkey Ball 2, offering more levels to challenge us. Again, there was a video (~170mb) of this game being completed quickly. Again the amount of skill on display is outrageous, but we have been learning from it - weaving left and right at the start of levels coming off the ramped sides builds up speed to allow some pretty naughty jumps, although we have nowhere near the skill of these guys. The music for these videos is pretty cool (although we can't quite explain the presence on Enya on there).
Our alumni friend, Brooks also has the games so when he comes up at weekends, we often get some 3 player action going. In addition to the regular game, Monkey ball offers up to 12 bonus games including racing, target (try to fly your ball on a target to get points), fight (giant punching gloves attached to the ball), golf (with some crazy courses), bowling (again with the option for some weird lanes), billiards, boat (row your ball down a river coarse), shot (a virtua cop style game), dogfight (aerial combat), soccer, baseball and tennis. All these subgames have extra features to unlock: in fact whilst "researching" this blog entry I've managed to unlock the second stage of crazy bowling...

Monkey Ball 2 features a single player "story" mode tacked on to the original level-after-level style. This again demonstrates the surrealness of the Japanese designers and I really pity who ever had the unenviable task of translating the game into English. Suffice to say it features an evil Monkey, Dr Bad-Boon (sigh), attempting to steal all the bananas fro our hero Monkeys and also marry Meemee - one of the playable characters. World 7 sees Bad-Boon returning home for a bath even though he's being chased by the Monkeys. Truly bizarre.
The down side of course that now we are world 7/10, the levels are (almost)impossible so the amount of swearing and bad language that comes out my room would make a sailor blush. Mind you, we though the world 6 levels had us beaten as well...

Nanotechnology - Beware the Hype

Chemistry isn't really the most glamorous of the sciences. Tough to get your head around at school and even harder to understand at degree level, chemistry is in dire need of some positive press. National Chemistry Week has just ended here in the UK and I bet hardly anyone realised. The work of chemists is invaluable to the way we live our lives today - everything from the clothes, we wear, the food we eat, all our entertainment mediums and the drugs that have prolonged our life expectancy. So you'd expect that chemists would be well received members of community and children would actually want to be chemists when they grow up.

Unfortunately, it isn't like that at all. The overwhelming perception of chemists is that when they're not arsing around in white coats, they're polluting the planet, torturing animals or mercilessly ripping off third world countries. Quite how this has happened isn't too apparent, but by and large the only thing you read about in the news are the bad sides of chemistry: testing drugs on animals, massive plants bellowing out smoke, drugs with bad side effects... but this rant isn't about that.

The one positive we're getting as chemists is in the form of nanotechnology, but even that is about to go wrong. Yesterday we received a talk from Professor Tony Ryan (right) on nanotechnology. Despite looking like Sam from Lord of the Rings, Ryan is one of the UK's most high profile chemists and presented the 2002 Royal Institute Christmas Lectures - the only time in the 10 years or so I've been watching them that chemistry was featured. His group at the University of Sheffield are working on synthetic muscles, but the first part of his talk was about the dangers of hyping up these new ideas with no science to back them up.

The term was coined by the Japanese in the 70s to suggest synthesis and analysis on an atomic or molecular level. The bandwagon started it's roll to the current-day expectation when in the early 80s, Eric Drexler released the book Engines of Creation. His imagery of "Grey Goo" - a vision of a future where nanobots escaped the labs and endlessly replicated and broke all matter down.
He predicted that Star-Trek-esque machines would be able to assemble anything atom by atom if we knew which atoms were needed where... The worst thing that could happen did: the popular press and a bunch of pseudo-scientists cottoned on to it. Cue the setting up of the Institute for Molecular Manufacturing in 1991, which to this day has manufactured precisely bugger all save for some pretty computer images of "molecular machines".

Even such widely read magazines as Time Magazine ran cover stories picturing small machines the size of a human blood cell that would one day be able to swarm around our bodies in their trillions patching us up, performing surgery at a microscopic level and keeping us healthy. Of course, most A-Level students could tell you straight away that these just won't work and aren't feasible. Look at the picture and despite their seeming well intentioned ideas, it don't doesn't hang together. Let's forgo the fact that anything as small as proposed (in the fashionable "human hair" units - I guess 10^-9m would intimidate most people) would never be able to have such intricate detail and think back to basic chemistry and physics. At the microscopic levels, any science student will tell you that small particles move randomly due to Brownian Motion. Given that you can see particles displaying this phenomenon on a macroscopic level - you can imagine how unsteady these robot surgeons would be. If something is going to operate on my insides I rather it didn't shake around randomly... Moving on, most people will have heard of Van der Waals forces - instant spontaneous polarisations that make small molecules stick together. For a machine this small, all that would happen is that not only would they stick together, they'd also attract all the gunk that normally floats around our bodies - essentially getting lost in the biological gunk that makes us up.

What Professor Ryan brought home to us was that politicians read these kind of books and magazines. I'd never thought about this much before, but it's true - to pretty much guarantee funding for research all you have to do is mention nanotechnology and people will be falling over themselves to give you money without really understanding where it's going. Indeed, my research group is part of the Durham Nanomaterials project. The problem is that the 1980s were actually a long time ago (scary) and so far not much has been delivered. Journals are full of "promising" materials, but not much has made it to market.


My field of OLEDs has long been touted to replace LCD screens, but despite being on the verge of release for the last 5 years we're not really inundated with thin flexible, low powered screens. In fact, in the mean time LCD technologies have improved drastically and alternative technologies such as SED as gearing up for launch early next year in Japan. The public expects, and pretty soon, the policy makers are going to wonder where all their money went and chemistry won't even have the white knight of Nanotechnology to promote itself.

Meanwhile, Drexler and his apostles have been attacking anyone who dares to doubt his vision of nanomachines that can outperform nature, including Nobel Prize winner Richard Smalley. That nature has created nanoscale machines suggests that we one day might get close, but after all, nature has had several billion years to get things right...

Well that's just great...

Tonight I went out with some friends for a pair of birthdays to the Chinese restaurant in Durham and very nice it was too. However, after the meal we all got given fortune cookies. Everyone else had really affirmative fortunes (such as Positive thinking yields positive results) but mine actually manage to insult me... here's a picture of the offending item - I did manage to see the funny side, but I wonder...

Just what exactly are they saying about me??

Colin Hay - A Follow Up

It's been over a month since I started listening to Colin Hay. Starting with his more recent albums, Going Somewhere and Man At Work and moving on to some of his older works that I've finally tracked down on the Durham University network.

Going Somewhere is folk guitar at it's simplest - one man and his guitar. Hay's voice is pretty unique and soothing and his songs all tell stories. For example, the opener, Beautiful World is all about taking joy from the simplest of things:

My my my, it's a beautiful world/I like swimming in the sea

even though the world isn't perfect:

She says she doesn't love me, but she enjoys my company/For now that's good enough for me

Title track, Going Somewhere features a very catchy guitar progression and vocal hook, whilst My Brilliant Feat combines a playful melody with some touching lyrics about someone whose 15 minutes are long gone. One of the stand-out tracks though is Waiting for my Real Life to Begin - known to anyone who saw the Scrubs episode My Philosophy. Presented here as a solo guitar piece, the song is an anthem for those whose lives haven't amounted to anything yet, but who live on in hope that one day they will:

Any minute now my ship is comming in/ I'll keep checking the horizon

When I awoke today nothing happened/But in my dreams I slew the dragon

And you say "be still my love/open up your heart and let the light shine in"/Well don't you understand I already have a plan?/I'm waiting for my real life to begin

On a clear day I can see/See a very long way

In this, my 7th year at university I know the feeling of waiting for something to come along and change my life all too well. The album "finishes" with Maggie a very happy sounding track which becomes sadder in tone until you realise what story is being told... The US special edition is rounded off with an acapella version of I don't know why from a live performance and then radio edits of Waiting for my real life... and the song I just don't think I'll ever get over you which you may know from the fantastic and oft-mentioned Garden State OST. A simple guitar quietly announces the track before Hay's voice - sounding even more resigned and world-weary than usually - comes in:

And when I'm done I feel like talking/Without you here I have less to say/I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy/What is closer to the truth/That if I lived till I was 102/I just don't think I'll ever get over you

Despite being a beautifully lehthargic song of resignation and acceptance, this radio edit clocks in at just 4:31. The full verison is available to the album Transendental Highway.

Man @ Work is something of an odd-ball: it combines classic Men At Work reworkings, with alternate versions of some of Hay's best solo songs and a few new compositions. An alternate version of Beautiful World (that is actually how it was originally recorded) containing a full band (including a wonderfully minimalist slide guitar part) but oddly misses out the verse about "Marie" which to me sums up the whole song. Next up is an acoustic version of the best known Men At Work song: Down Under: sounding suitably laid back compared to the 80s version yet still playful enough to be raise a smile. Continuing the 80s theme is an acoustic version of Overkill as featured in the Scrubs season 2 premiere performed by Hay in cameo. The song was perfect for the episode in which all the characters have fallen out and aren't talking to each other:

I can't get to sleep/I think about the implications/Of diving in too deep/And possibly the complications/Especially at night/I worry over situations/I know will be alright/It's just overkill

Storm in my Heart returns to a fuller band sound with a very springy beat. Waiting for my Real Life... makes another appearence - for the original full band version (without the final lines) you'd need to get a hold of the fantastic Topanga. Some new recordings with a destinctly regae sound follow before a completely new recording of Down Under finishes the album in style with another regae-ish sound and brass section boosting to give a completely different feel to the previous version.

I'm still listening to the rest of the back catalogue, but if you want some excellent folk/singer songwriter/easy listening yet involved songs I fully recommend you track down some of Hay's albums.

The Tiniest Computer Mice Ever

So - we finally got our new laptops at work after 3 months of hassles with Dell. The next job was to get some mice. The best bet seemed to be these - mice with retractable usb cords so we wouldn't have to deal with masses of cable when we moved out laptops around. When they arrived, it was hard to believe they aren't actually toys.


The first photo shows one of them in the palm of my hand - you have to grip them between thumb and ring finger and unsurprisingly, can't rest your palm on them.
What is surprising is how easy they are to use - we got used to them within 5 minutes and the response and scroll wheel is very acurate. Of course, the one we ordered for our supervisor was denounced as being "too small" for him - but when you compare these mice to a regular sized one (see right) I think we can accept that they aren't for everyone.


The best bit is that they come with their own tiny carry case that is no biger than 10x6cm and which contains a sub pocket for the usb connector - very cute and certainly draw cries of awwwwww from most of the group. The extending cable had us foxed until we actually read the instructions (!) Hopefully they'll last us a good while...

Busy day - but hardly any work

Wow - it's been a pretty hectic day. Got up early and went for breakfast (this only happens on Wednesdays). After that I went to help stock the bar then got a shower and headed down to work for 90 minutes before a group meeting (where someone presents their work). This was followed by a power walk back up the hill to meet the rest of the SSC (Senior Server Committee) to go over to Grey College for a manual handling course. I'm sorry to say it was 90 minutes of tedium and pointlessness - everyone already knew how to life boxes and we didn't even learn anything about the barrels that we needed the training for - I managed to get a couple of pictures of our trainer, Paul Zeland, giving some pointers and the tediousness of watching everyone lift a crate or empty cardboard box (!) in turn...

After this it was straight back to Trevs for a cocktail making course - but the rep only talked about his own brands so we got the product history of Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, Bacardi and Bombay Sapphire. All the cocktails were pretty good but they all involved just a spirit and mixer.

Next was the rush to dinner before a long SSC meeting based around the problem of how to pay for taxis when we don't have access to any petty cash followed immediately by an MCR meeting where I found out just how badly the refurb was put together in the final mad dash...

Treat for the Night

Tonight, whilst we were out at Tesco, we happened across this individual sporting a pink striped shirt, trainers and a very naughty all-denim suit. Needles to say we pursued him and I managed to get this snap as he reached for some Tesco Value brand lemonade. Perhaps it loses something in the photo, but I'm sure you can imagine just how special an all-denim suit would look in the flesh...